Sharing Books, Friendship and Kindness
Form, Emptiness, and re-inventing self, in every moment
I āmetā
maybe close to a year ago now. āMetā is in quotation marks because although our paths have crossed, we have never met in person (the closest we are to each other, by my calculation, is 1,275 milesāthe distance from my home to Fort Collins COāDiamond Michaelās current home town. Although itās becoming a tad less so nowadays because so many writers, thought-leaders, former Xwitters and Instagramers, and wanna-be influencers are flocking here, Substack still remains a place where solid connections can be made with genuine people, like-minded thinkers and feelers, and authentic kindred-spirits. One finds them by engaging with people with whom you resonate. And thatās how I crossed paths with Diamond-Michael.Diamond-Michael Scott publishes FIVE, count āem, FIVE newsletters here on Substack (find his Home page here). In each, he shares wise and thoughtful essays on The Tao, Great Books, and Great Mindsā¦for and of all colors, sizes, and lovers of life. I read each of them as he publishes them; but it was his The Chocolate Taoist that first drew my attention because of my ābeginnerās mindā passion for The Tao. EVERY post from The Chocolate Taoist is a lesson in how ancient wisdom can meaningfully inform and place into proper perspective the comings and goings of our daily lives in this oftentimes weird, wonderful, crazy, sad, triumphant, tragic, and joyful world. Heās an excellent writer, compassionate thinker, renaissance man, and self-proclaimed philosopher-vagabond. We struck up an eConversation through random comments, and itās led to a true friendship. We committed to meeting up with each other in person at some point, should our physical paths, as the paths of water often do, cross and mingle. Weād have so much in common to talk aboutānot the least of which are books, and a love of life well and deeply lived.
In one of his posts where he prompted his readers to respond to something book-oriented (book-lovers everywhere are universally kindred souls!), I shared I had recently finished The Book of Form and Emptiness by the Buddhist Zen priest Ruth Ozeki.1
This led to the wonderful offer, from Diamond-Michael, to engage further in the book and how it changed me. All book lovers know the power of books to change and influence their livesāeach book read should do just that, or else one is wasting their time. So, earlier this past week, Diamond-Michael published the piece we collaborated on. And so I include it here!
I LOVED doing this with Diamond-Michael. His questions were probing and I really enjoyed going deeper into a book that turned out to be rather profound! From this exchange, and using Diamond-Michaelās prompts, I got even more out of the book after I had reflected more deeply on it with my friend. Funny how that works! Maybe Oprah or Reese or Barack or some other famous person Iām not really on a first-name basis with should think about starting a book club or something.
(Waitā¦nevermind.)
Since we are in a literary space, I wanted to also share this week the following poem by Charles Bukowski, a poet Iām REALLY digging, because of how he and it captures who I believe myself to be right now.2 Poems like this have a way of showing up in my life for a reason.
no leaders, please invent yourself and then reinvent yourself, donāt swim in the same slough. invent yourself and then reinvent yourself and stay out of the clutches of mediocrity. invent yourself and then reinvent yourself, change your tone and shape so often that they can never categorize you. reinvigorate yourself and accept what is but only on the terms that you have invented and reinvented. be self-taught. and reinvent your life because you must; it is your life and its history and the present belong only to you. (from Bukowskiās āThe Pleasures of the Damned: Poems, 1951-1993)
In this liminal, grey space of the unknown that I find myself in, not formally retired, not really ābetween jobsā because Iām not yet looking for another place to land for paid employment, even though I still feel the pressure at times to earn a wage, I sometimes get the question āwhat are you doing now that you are no longer a school principal?ā Sometimes that questioner is ME!
It is such a characteristic of our day and age as a culture where among the things we say to each other upon greeting alludes to the fact weāve all got to be doing somethingāand that something, typically, refers to gainful employment. āWhat are you doing?āācode for āHow are you making money?ā
Look, Iām still youngāI havenāt yet decided at what age I will be when I no longer call myself that (maybe never!). This even after my wife constantly teases me every time I get a flyer from AARP to join their membership so as to āenjoy the perks of being old!ā (My words, not exactly theirsā¦exactly.) She teases me because weāre the same age but Iām the only one that gets their āeffin flyers! Whatev. Iām still young. Too young for AARP (and I havenāt yet decided when at what age I will become a memberāmaybe never!).
This tension of ādoing somethingā is something I grapple with. But Iāve also been open to whatever might come my way, whether in the form of volunteer service opportunities, work around our home (and there is AMPLE work here to do), bringing kindness into the world, nurturing the stewardship of my environment, writing and giving it freely away (or unexpectedly being paid to have a poem or essay published!), reading deeply, helping family members in various ways (landscaper/gardener, chauffeur, handyman, cook/chef, bank, ticket purchaser, doggy sitter, pool boy, etc.), and humbly receiving the guiding wisdom from the various teachers who seem to show up at just the right time, as from poets like Charles Bukowski.
Hereās a caveat that will likely answer a question you might be forming: āUm, but how can you afford to ājust BEā and not be ādoing something to earn money that allows for that?ā I am incredibly lucky to be in my present life circumstanceāI know not everyone could do this. But all my past ādoingā has allowed me to explore and even enjoy this potential āreinventionā phase of Being. As a teacher, choosing a career of service to children rather than doing something āfor the money,ā it was incumbent upon my wife and me to live humbly and frugally, and to immediately begin mindful saving and investing for our period of life when we could retire. We are not rich, but I think we are wealthy in how we have managed to put together an extraordinary life filled with love, family, and joy. We are fortunate to live comfortablyābut this weāve earned!
As I think about it now, this tension links back nicely to Form and Emptiness:
Doing = Form
Emptiness = Being
I can always reinsert myself into the materialistic world of formāas I told you, Iām still youngābut right now, I donāt want to. I kinda am enjoying this process and exploration of emptiness.
This poem, āno leaders, pleaseā fascinates me because I think Bukowski is talking to me (even though he died in 1994 at the age of 73). I was a formal, titled leader for over 30 years. Now, the only one I lead is me.
Bukowski is teaching me to look at this grey, liminal space differently, not from the conventions of a materialistic, āya-gotta-be-doing-SOMETHINGā society, but from a place of redefining what it actually means to BE. Itās kinda a clichĆ©, but I still like it: āWe are human BEINGS, not human doings!ā
So what if this time for me is a time of unconventional reinvention?
What if this is a time to thrive and strive toward a life of excellence, rather than the mediocrity that too many resign themselves to? And what if I get to define what my unique brand of excellence looks like?
What if whatever Iām doing and whoever Iām Being cannot be categorize despite the popular need to keep putting people in well-defined boxes?
What if I simply accept what is, now, and let that invigorate my every moment letting it bring the joy and kindness into the world that may, just may, make the life of just one other human better?
What if, instead of being taught by all my students and colleagues whom I allowed to teach me to be the kind of principal they needed, I am taught by all the rest of this glorious and miraculous Universe to be the awakened Soul from which I know Iām a part? And what if I teach myself that?
What if, finally, as Ram Dass taught, what if Iām finally becoming comfortable in becoming nobody?
After all, Iām living the only life I can live right now and have no more use for formal titles, even ones that look like me. My past, my history, my present, and the future I have yet to meet and create, belong only to me. I canāt give them to anyone else to live for me. Every moment is opportunityāto reinvent myself. I must. Because Iām never the same me with each momentary moment that arises.
Soā¦what am I doing nowadays?
Heck, Iām so busy Being, I have no time to do anything else.
Nor do I want to.
Live, Laugh, and Loveāwith Clear Eyes and Full Hearts,
Always and Ubuntu,
~ kert
And with Ahimsa!
šš¼
Badass Kert. I love this. Thatās da wrap.
You are younger now that you will ever be. Do yourself a favor and give up the age thing with numbers. And, if I may be so bold, remove the "What if's" and see what happens.....