1 + 1 = 3
Alchemy found—WARNING: some math required!
I read the passage below the other day in a different Substack blog to which I subscribe. It mentioned Bruce Springsteen and how he views life especially in the imagination and creativity it takes to produce a work of art (aka rock and roll); or to be able to create and see joy from the only place any of that can ever be created—our normal everyday lives:
There is a great joy that comes from seeing wondrous things for the first time, or even for the first time in a long time. Even better are the moments where the wonderment and joy combine in unexpected places in a magical alchemy. It is there that the magic happens. Bruce Springsteen, my fellow New Jerseyian, has said this is the essential ingredient of rock and roll: 1+1 must equal three. The Boss says this is the essential equation to understand in life. It is the one that unlocks happiness, joy and love.
(Steve Schmidt: “The Warning.” Substack newsletter dated November 19, 2022)
“One plus one must equal three.” For Springsteen, “three” equals “Born in the USA,” and “Tunnel of Love,” and “Streets of Philadelphia,” and “Glory Days” and “Brilliant Disguise” and “Dancin’ In the Dark” and “The Rising,” and “Born to Run,” and…and…and…. Springsteen lives in the place and time of three. But it’s just as relevant and meaningful an equation for us too, for me too, even though I have never written a hit song.
“One plus one must equal three.” Not just an unusual math equation but an integral ingredient in a life of meaning worth the living of it. In fact, and I agree wholeheartedly, THE “essential ingredient…the one that unlocks happiness, joy and love.”
Yep. Alchemy at its most profound.
I love that. I love anything that provides a fresh take, that offers a new perspective on things we may take for granted. I love alchemy too (college organic chemistry notwithstanding!). And I love magic.
“One plus one must equal three.” Yes. So I’m adding it to my bank of daily mantras. It will help when I am with Dad (and when am I not with Dad nowadays?)—changing the current state of things, especially the hard things, by using simple ingredients (all the 1 + 1’s) to make it better; to “unlock happiness, joy, and love.”
One plus one equals three—like adding a bit of sugar to bitter batter. To make it better. But much better than even that!
Count me “all in.”
“The ESSENTIAL equation to understand in life.”
First, why not 1 + 1 = 2 ?
Answer: because two is what is expected.
How exciting is 1 + 1 = 2?
Yay.
🥱
Answer: Not very, especially once you are past kindergarten. It’s probably the first math equation we ever learn when we’re in our first year of school (or before) as it forms the basis for all other maths to come. But that doesn’t mean it is full of bells and whistles, rainbows and unicorns, whimsy and laughter. Nope. 1 + 1 = 2 is bedrock, unexciting physics, foundational to just about everything in life, even though, as is all math, it is completely a human creation. It is exactly the way mathematicians want and need it.
When you expect something, because it’s ALWAYS what you got, or it’s what you need, and even though it derives a certain measure of safety because “you can count on it,” life can become habitual, rote, routine…and boring in a 1 + 1 = 2 world when you come to rely upon “the expected.” Even when your life depends on it. And yet “two” is vitally necessary because when you expect to get 2, and you don’t, it’s too much the invitation to allow frustration and suffering to enter into the equation—especially when you are not used to opening yourself up to the possibility of 3.
In the caretaker’s service for persons with dementia, routines are essential and life-saving. Dad and I have routines now for just about every thing we must do together: from toileting, to showering, to getting up out of his chair, to walking, to serving/eating meals (especially breakfast!)—to our mornings and bedtimes, and to virtually everything in between them. Routines are life-savers and time-savers and they have the invaluable benefit of providing consistency and safety for Dad—the stronger the routine, the more “cemented” the neural pathways become, not that those won’t, at some point, also fall prey to dementia’s disintegration (as they likely will ‘cuz some are already), but it can provide a delay before that inevitableness, if not even some immunity to its ravages. In our living together now, for Dad and me (and Kristin and Sammy), 1 + 1 MUST equal 2–each and every. single. time. If it doesn’t, or didn’t, something was wrong and it had (has) to be addressed and then corrected.
And yet, there’s always a cost, right? Strong routines and habits promote rigidity—a lack of flexibility and imagination if we’re not careful. 1 + 1 = 2 also promotes dullness in the “sour taste of unmet expectation” while at the same time masking “possibility.”
Possibilities:
1 + 1 = 3 is a human creation too, but obviously of a much different kind! And it’s a creation not many humans are even aware of let alone manifest in their worlds. 1 + 1 = 3 takes imagination, creativity, an openness to possibility, and a willingness to see something that is not really there—until you create it for yourself. Until you imagine and call to life from “the beyond,” your 3.
As synchronicity would have it, the same morning when I read the quote from Steve Schmidt’s post, I also read this in one of my daily devotionals:
Do you see the mathematical connection?
1 + 1 = 3 = “In everything that we consider to be bad, there is always the seed of a greater good waiting for discovery. You can always choose the most inspiring and motivating meaning to have the emotional state that will be most helpful to you.”
Like when Springsteen says one plus one MUST equal three, so MUST it be for me (us?), I like to think ALL the time, but especially when I’m serving Dad. I think the word “must” in the equation is key—for it implies an act of will. Minus that act, i.e. minus the “must,” I think you’ll always get two. So I have to remember the empowerment that is available to me always, then choose the wise response. Having eyes to see the “three” is a choice. And as I choose to find the 3’s, I’m finding life to be so much more inspiring and meaningful than what we were taught when we were asked to solve for the first time 1 + 1 = ?
Eldering 101: The Magic in Three
“Three” is always there in the equation just as it is always there in life. Most times it lay hidden and waiting for the right and wise mindset—key ingredients of alchemy in their own right. If I turn it into a mantra that, with faith and practice, will become “second nature” to my true nature, 1 + 1 = 3 will remind me to find the hidden joy and the deep meaning of connection that exists within everything—in every trip to the toilet (even the eighth trip of the day), in every shower, in every blueberry muffin and oatmilk latte, in every hold to keep him from collapsing when he has one of his episodic catatonic “seizures;” and even in every rusty hitch ball on red Ford pickup trucks. That “to find” part implies one has to either look for it or cultivate a way of being whereby you remain open to all the unexpected possibilities that arise with every 1 + 1. And then you make the choice. If you have faith in “the must” and “the potential of the three,” then you know to go beyond the 2, go beyond the same ol’ same ol’; go beyond the expected answer. To go beyond the “if I always do what I’ve always done, I’ll always get what I’ve always got” life. THAT new place, that place where the 3 will be found…?
Yes, THAT’s the place of magic, creativity, imagination, and abundance. And it is alchemy.
Having that mantra as a daily practice will help “make the math add up!” And it will bring a palpable sense of ease and peace—if not true acceptance and appreciation.
It must. It must do this.
And I want this “new math” for a different reason too.
The dark danger of the equation:
With every 1 + 1 = ???, there is a danger. And it’s a common trap I, for one, still struggle with on a daily basis. Because just as we rely upon the 2, and as we come to understand the possibility of 3, so too does something exist that is darker and more insidious:
1 + 1 < 2
…and sometimes a lot less.
I don’t want to go into great detail in this post with this particular mathematical expression, but just as much as 3 exists, so too does “less than two.” THAT is the place of frustration and bother and darkness and “why me?” and “oh shit!” (Excuse my Frenchness there!)
This, too, becomes a mantra, by default, alongside the mantra of 1 + 1 = 3. Now, when the magic isn’t summoned during the hard times, I find that “this is less than two” flashes in my mind as a reminder to myself I’ve chosen a path of self-inflicted suffering.
“Shit.” (Oops, bonjour escusez-moi…again.)
I still get into “less than two” territory too often. But I’m working on it.
This new math is hard sometimes.
Cojuring the magic:
When Dad is gone, when he and all his kindnesses and gentleness and heavy needs are no longer in our physical world, I will need to see all the 3’s that we created, among all the daily life chores of the 1 + 1’s, so that I can FEEL the continued warmth of his presence and love. And therein is the equation’s magical extension:
1 + 1 = 3 = Joy = Fondness = Abundance = Warmth = Light = Magic
It’s not calculus, but it is the mathematics of Love—because its main point and essential quality is that it isn’t quantifiable; it doesn’t make logical sense.
Love isn’t quantifiable. It just is.
Of course I am not waiting for Dad to die to see the “threes.” The 3’s exist in every moment, in the subtle undercurrent of their parallel existence—and when things are at their hardest, the irony is that the 3’s will shine the brightest…when they are conjured, that is. This takes faith—but I’ve seen it so can attest to its actuality.
In the absolute messiest of times, and I mean this LITERALLY (but I’ll leave it up to you to imagine what I mean here), the 3 is there. I know it is there. Because Dad is there. And in THAT exact time, in that exact messy and smelly moment, THAT is where true love is possible—where the equation gets tested the most. Because that is what Dad needs. Full on, intimate contact, in full vulnerability. A surfacing of “I’m here, I’m raw, I’m physically and emotionally exposed. I need help; I need you,” along with “I’m here too Dad. And I’ve got you. Let’s make this equal three.”
To gift to him the maintenance of his dignity and worth.
To conjure love.
So that it adds up to 3.
Alchemy.
Just consider it “the new math!”
One plus one equals three IS the mathematics of Love.
And we all can master it. But we have to choose. Then do.
And when we do, it can never be incorrect.
SPECIAL NOTE:
I have a new “1 + 1 < 2” true and scary story that happened over Thankgiving. But I’m choosing to wait to let this new concept of three settle in before I share it with you. That, and I’m still trying to conjure that particular moment’s 3. When I find it, and I am, and finding it to be quite heartwarming because it turns out there are multiple threes there, I will share more. For now, have a go at this new math. Trust me, it’s worth the effort. No calculator needed.
But your heart may get broken. That’s not necessarily a bad thing though.
T plus 152 days…and counting. And adding it all up. Because it should always equal 3. It must.
