Audible

Feels better to punt right now

I punted this week and called an audible. Had a different post ready to post and scheduled even, but because of the events in our country and world the past week, the post I had drafted did not feel properly placed to post right now. So…I pulled it back. It’ll show up later. Maybe next week.

Instead, I’m sitting at my kitchen table past 10 pm on the evening of Thursday, Oct 12, (just a little over six hours from my dedicated posting promise) putting new words to digital ink.

These words.

These are dark times. Israel, Ukraine, the rise of authoritarianism, the billionaire autocracy and the growing wage and wellness gap, the undeniable near-catastrophic impact of climate change on our environment and ecosystems, the extinction of species due to loss of habitat, our country’s lack of civil discourse, attacks on democracy and on legitimate journalism from our own, a growing and palpable malaise in our social fabric, the rise of vindictive tribalism, the dysfunction and chaos in the House of Representatives due to a doubly-chaotic political party that has as their titular head a multi-indicted psychopath who still leads in their party’s polling for the next presidential election—because we live through times like these we can fall into a trap of believing these are the worst of times. But because we are human, and have elected forms of government “of and by the people” to put into place laws and policy that are supposed to be in service “for the people,” there have also been revolutions and civil wars and world wars and movements and conflicts and violence and social upheaval and assassinations and on and on and on that have also created the darkest of darkness for those living in THOSE times.

Still, that doesn’t make this current darkness feel any brighter.

Amiright?

From my studies and reflections and writings and learnings, I know that these dark times can take us all down paths we don’t want to find ourselves on if we are not mindfully careful.

So this week, I called an audible and punted.

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As I’m sitting here it is a clear early Fall day
and the sun is shining brightly on distant trees
that are covered in warm blankets of green moss. 

I see this scene from a distance and through my
living room window
as I’m also sitting here contemplating the big questions
like the meaning of life, the meaning of death, 
and why we inflict so much pain upon each other.

Perhaps I’ve learned of some answers 
but it doesn’t stop those questions from persisting
or thankfully the brilliant sun from shining
on moss-covered trees.

And then I realize:
that sunlight is so brilliant because of the shadows. 

Darkness covering limbs and trunks and bark
allows light to shine so pure and green and bright. 

That is what’s caught my eye on this clear and early Fall day;
we see light because of the dark
and we learn that the darker the dark, the brighter the light
(as long as we care to look with knowing eyes, 
and we should always care to look). 

It is unimaginably difficult to give thanks to the dark;
to have gratitude for shadows;
to know both exist because the other exists. 
And yet this is necessary. 

Because...

There IS such a thing as brilliant dark. 

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These are dark times but the darkness IS brilliant. Because…

This week I had the privilege of talking with a caregiver who is taking care of her 92 year old mother who shared, through the tears of a choked-up voice, how much she appreciates her Hospice team who shows so much love and care for her mother every time they visit—and I got to email that gratitude to those team members.

Kristin and I attended a Peter Gabriel concert on Sunday that was exceptional. Gabriel—who himself is inspirational for his dedication to world music, social justice, eco-activism, and human rights—elected as his final encore a mesmerizing and powerful performance of the vastly powerful song “Biko.” (I hope you know the meaning of this song—if you don’t please do just a bit of research. You’ll be more human after, I promise.) As each member of the band walked off stage individually over the final third of the song, Gabriel left it to the audience and the drummer to carry the rhythm and the chorus to the end as a large image of Steven Biko faded into existence on a huge, red-encircled digital screen in front of the dark stage leaving that as the final image of the night. Never doubt music can be a deeply spiritual experience.

At that concert I met new friends who sat in seats around us and who joined in on some excellent humor, laughter, fun stories, and genuine engagement. Moments to appreciate with total strangers proving that we don’t have to ever stay total strangers and that random exchanges such as those, provided we risk just a little and actually HAVE them, can enrich the evening even more. Sometimes all it takes…is a smile and a shared laugh.

The Hawks are 3 and 1 and look to be among the best teams in the NFL at the moment. (But don’t say that out loud—let’s not jinx the karma).

Every day I wake up to a beautiful day. It can be raining, snowing, bitterly cold and grey, densely foggy, sunny and clear and warm (sometimes all this in one day here in the great PNW next to the Salish Sea), but it doesn’t matter the weather, ever. Every day is beautiful because we get to wake up and live it. I get to wake up…and LIVE. Not just exist, but live.

And come to find out, it’s all weather.

We are healthy; my family is healthy. I have a great family on both my sides. I am proud of my family and filled with so much gratitude for their presence in the world and in my life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Amidst the undeniable darkness lies a choice for each of us—to be a light for each other that helps us all get just a little further down our own unique paths of living making both the light and the dark more brilliant as we hold each other’s hand along the way. I am on the receiving end of so much kindness and beauty in this world. All I have to do to experience that is to open my eyes, my ears, and my heart.

“Everywhere you look, you see what you are looking for.”

Yes, these are dark and scary times; but darkness, too, is a part of the Alchemy. I give thanks to the dark and to the shadows. That’s how we come to know the texture and warmth and brilliance of light. Both exist because the other exists.

The only appropriate response is gratefulness.

Always and Ubuntu,

~ k

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