“Ləv” — An Oct 1 Sunday Short
Self-explanatory?
You’d think so.
You think you know a word. You think you know a word by the meaning it connotes. But some words are different; some words transcend knowing. Some words can only be felt.
Some words SHOULD only be felt.
Because some words, despite what we think we know, defy mere definition.
Take LOVE for example.
How Do YOU Define Love?
Before you read further, have a go. Define love.
I’ll wait.
🕘
🕚
🕐
🕒
Likely, you are 100% correct! YAY YOU! You can define love!
But, and I’m sorry to report this to you, you are also incomplete; turns out your definition is woefully incomplete and inadequate—love is so much more than your meager definition put clumsily into spoken or imagined words.
Even Merriam Webster offers a surprisingly high number of ways to define love, each, also, inadequate. (Can you spot YOUR definition among MW’s?)
love
1 of 2
noun
ləv (pronunciation)
1a(1): strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties
maternal love for a child
(2): attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers
After all these years, they are still very much in love.
(3): affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests
love for his old schoolmates
b: an assurance of affection
give her my love
2: warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion
love of the sea
3a: the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration
baseball was his first love
b(1): a beloved person : DARLING
—often used as a term of endearment
(2): British—used as an informal term of address
4a: unselfish loyal and benevolent (see BENEVOLENT sense 1a) concern for the good of another: such as
(1): the fatherly concern of God for humankind
(2): brotherly concern for others
b: a person's adoration of God
5: a god (such as Cupid or Eros) or personification of love
6: an amorous episode : LOVE AFFAIR
7: the sexual embrace : COPULATION
8: a score of zero (as in tennis)
9: capitalized Christian Science : GOD
love
2 of 2
verb
loved; loving
1: to hold dear : CHERISH
2a: to feel a lover's passion, devotion, or tenderness for
b(1): CARESS
(2): to fondle amorously
(3): to copulate with
3: to like or desire actively : take pleasure in
loved to play the violin
4: to thrive in the rose loves sunlight
intransitive verb: to feel affection or experience desire
Phrases
at love: holding one's opponent scoreless in tennis
in love: inspired by affection
That’s a lotta Ləv, I mean, LOVE. But all dem words still don’t mean all dat much.
I write today because of what was posted on Friday—about the Elderings I learned from Dad’s special and unique brand of Dementia. You’ll recall I wrote that post back when Dad was still alive. And in that post, I said, or maybe promised, that I would post the final learning learned from Dementia’s Elderings at a later date—its teaching on Love, that is. But, I never wrote that post back then. It wasn’t waiting “in draft form” to be sent at some point during the year of firsts after Dad died. I don’t know why I didn’t complete that learning loop, to formally write about the most important teaching of all, from Dementia, when I was needing to seriously contemplate the lessons I needed to be learning at the feet of Dad’s mysterious and dark companion. I could say “things, like Dad’s dying for example, got in the way.” But that wouldn’t be the truth.
Turns out, nothing needed to be written. We were living Love—defining it each day through the quiet, still moments of the every day moments: some that were difficult, many that were easy; some that were light, many that were dark; some that were funny, many that were incredibly sad—all poignant; some that were safe, too many that were downright scary. With every oatmilk latte and warmed vegan whole wheat blueberry muffin; with every shower and shave; with every Jeopardy question left unanswered and every Wheel of Fortune word guessed correctly by someone; with every Johnny Cash song heard; with every prompted or unprompted memory shared from trips down a broken memory’s lane; with every kiss goodnight; with every trip, EVERY trip to the bathroom…
…and with every single word of love said aloud or said silently, kept only in the warm, glow-embered, untouchable regions of our hearts, we were defining Love as we were living Love. As we were living life, together. Even when we might have been alone.
Love.
You know it when you feel it. Or, we used to. Sometimes, I wonder nowadays.
But the fact it might be sometimes confusing and difficult to understand or see where Love is in our human-made chaotic world does not takeaway the most important TRUISM in all of life’s Truths:
The only way to define Love, is to live Love.
As Madeleine L’Engle said above, I can’t prove to you that I loved Dad; I can’t prove to you that Love was present in our home; I cannot prove to you that Dementia gave me the words of Love I needed in order to put them down in this blog. You would have had to have been here, and lived it with us.
Sad that you weren’t but, not really sad—provided you were living your own Love at the time.
Turns out, it was too important a time, a place, a man, a family, a disease, a life and a death—it all was WAY too important—for any proof to be thought necessary. Dementia’s most important teaching proved to be made manifest in how we lived together, in every moment.
We chose love.
To Bless this Space Between Us:
Let your life BE the love this world needs; and may you live it as a beautiful and embodied poem dedicated to all Souls past, present, and future, who need your Love-poetry like we need air—for both are necessary for life, sustaining.
Please.
❤️🔥
Now, give yourself a true gift that will only take three minutes, nineteen seconds. But, and I promise, will bring you warmth that will last, if you let it, for hours. Please, please watch this, then hug someone you love today—maybe even a stranger. After a shared hug, all strangers become Ləvs.
In our world circa 2023 and beyond, the best, most effective catalyst for all Alchemy on all Journeys, is Love. Only Love.
Always and Ubuntu,
And…
Ləv you.
~ kert
💙
PS: NOW it’s self-explanatory. Right?