The Making of a Human; The Making of Me

We’ve been here before, but…

…we’ve never been HERE before.

You can NEVER dip your foot into the same river twice.

This is a new “now.” And with this blog’s new purpose, as articulated last week here, we are officially off and running as, in the very least, you get to watch how I make sense of how to become “more human” with my own life. That two word phrase, “more human,” can get tossed around some; heck, I’ve tossed it around some. But what exactly do those words in combination mean? We’re born human, right? Well, turns out, maybe not so much. THAT is what I’m aiming to explore in this Alchemy of a Journey. I also say “in the very least” for the benefit of those who may simply just be passive readers. And even if that describes you, I’m still grateful. To go the next step and become more active in your own development as a human, should you in any way be inspired from these musings, takes intention, effort, and mindfulness. Or what I choose to call, echoing one of my mentors, John O’Donohue, “a reverence of approach:” an understanding, separate for me from any form of religious dogma, that each moment in your life can be imbued with a palpable sense of the sacred—that everything is connected to Soul. And because it is, we come to realize every thing that happens in our lives happens FOR us, not TO us—including what we read or choose (or not) to engage with. With that persistent understanding, a reverence of approach, it soon becomes a way of being; you simply approach things differently; and therefore you approach your life differently…i.e. with reverence.

But this more active reading? You don’t have to do that. You are under absolutely no obligation to do anything different with your own lives. You may already be leading a life of meaning and comfort and routine that you have no desire to change.

[An aside: the teacher in me cringed and hated to write those last three sentences. Those last three sentences point to a mindset that is anathema to a teacher. No teacher stands any chance of teaching any student who shows up at their door with that mindset. NO ONE SHOULD EVER THINK THAT! EVER. No matter their age. Perhaps this is one thing that makes us human—we can learn and we can grow. Yet, there are still humans who put more effort into not learning or growing than otherwise. Trust me, I saw some eight year olds try to get away with that. And 5 year olds, and 11 year olds, and 13 year olds, and…. I saw their parents try to get away with that too. It always broke my heart—thank goodness those young’uns came to me (us) at school where we could convince them of their extraordinariness if they only gifted us trust. Their parents? Well, they say adults are the hardest humans to try to teach. They say that with good reason.]

Always be on the look out for complacency.

In yourself.

Easy to spot it in others, not so much when looking in a mirror. It’s too easy to justify away complacency. Been there, done that. Not gonna do it again.

On the road toward “becoming,” toward becoming more human, there is NO ROOM for complacency. For fellow Seekers/Finders, fellow Anam Caras (“Soul Friends”) and spiritual beings, who understand deeply their human journeys, their true natures, or at least are curious about the glimmering sparks of depth and longing they may feel at times within their soul, mindsets and words like complacency, indifference, apathy, boredom, disinterest…are not to be found in their lexicon. Those are foreign language terms that have no place in one’s spiritual dimension. If you have them in your vocabulary, do yourself a favor and BANISH each one…forever.

Which, by the way…

I want to be explicit again that as time goes on with this blog, I intend to “explore out loud with you” the fact there are five dimensions to being human: physical, mental, emotional, social, and spiritual. At times I aim to dig into each dimension specifically and with detail; other times connections won’t be as explicit but those would be times to challenge our active reading (because I am challenging my active writing about them) to discover for yourself where, among the five dimensions, whatever you might be reading and experiencing, best fits. Sometimes there might be only one dimension that fits; sometimes some concept or experience might appropriately be housed in multiple dimensions.

When you are cooking a meal, in which dimension does that activity fit? Does it matter if you are microwaving a TV dinner for yourself, or cooking and baking for friends? What about when you are driving? Or jogging or walking? What about when you are taking a nap? Or playing a round of golf? Or watching the evening news or the latest superhero movie? What about when you are having an intimate conversation with a lover; or talking politics with a family member at Thanksgiving?

This will be fun, to explore the fact the more we can cultivate all five dimensions into our lives for every activity, every now, the more it can impact and influence the degree of our growth—our ability to become more human and our capacity to expand ourselves and our souls.

That was “foreshadowing” in case you missed it!

Regardless, like the Buddha was thought to have said “Don’t take my word for it. Try it out for yourself!” I hope you do (oops, because I no longer believe in hope, I’ll say instead “I trust you will.” Afterall, I have faith in you—see below!).

More on “hope” in a later blog.

Another foreshadow.

Even though we’ve never been HERE before, we are in familiar territory if you’ve been a long time reader of this blog (coming up very soon, btw, on ONE YEAR as a Substack newsletter!). Fundamentally, each blog post is an ingredient in the continuing “making of me.” It’s all been an alchemy of humanness, mine; and Soul, ours. Because, through my “Dad-as-reluctant-Elder” lens, I have been exploring this notion of becoming human all along. And all along the way, I’ve shown how I’ve been influenced by so many “stone cairns” on my path, so many mentors and exemplars, including a person I consider one of my most trusted and influential Elders: Stephen Jenkinson. This brief video is worth your time to view again—or for the first time. It, and Jenkinson, are a couple of deep inspirations for me:

“Human beings aren’t born; human beings are made.”

One of the more profound sentences I’ve ever heard spoken. Which also eloquently summarized my purpose as a teacher.

---

“Obliging Life”

I am choosing to approach the moments of my life, every “now,” with reverence. As I am doing this, I’m discovering this life, this earthly life we’ve all been gifted, because it IS a gift, is truly miraculous. I mean, imagine every single minute (mīnoot) and seemingly inconsequential thing that had to happen, since the beginning of time, through every single ancestor of yours and through every single thing they did and that happened to them when they were alive, that had to happen to result in YOU. And because you are here, you prove my point. YOU are the miraculous result of every single one of those happenings that had to happen exactly as they did to produce you. Change anything, any one thing from that past, and you no longer become the inevitable result. Even a delay of a few seconds, or even one second, in perhaps a chance meeting between two of your great-great-great (and beyond) ancestors, and there would be someone else who was born on the day of your earthly physical origination. Or maybe nobody gets born at all in your stead.

I am not perfect at it, yet, this reverence of approach. (In education, we LOVED the power of “yet.”) But I’m working on it. It is now my life’s practice. It has claimed me. A favorite Zen teacher of mine used to say to his pupils: “You are perfect just the way you are. AND you have room for improvement.” I have SO much room for improvement.

So that is what I’m doing here in front of all of you: showing a vulnerable side to myself that not all that long ago I would never have even considered doing for a whispy second. This is MY journey toward becoming more human. All journeys like this are unique for reasons I trust, by now, you all know. But there is also a life truism that I’m coming to trust and understand more and more as I get older: we are ALL interconnected. Intimately. No matter how much we, in our innocence, arrogance, ego, youth, olderhood, or naïveté, believed we could ever be truly independent, the Truth is that we are not. We “inter-are.”

There is a lovely, ancient African concept known as “Ubuntu.” Ubuntu (Zulu pronunciation: [ùɓúntʼù]) is a Nguni Bantu term meaning "humanity". It is sometimes translated as "I am because we are" (also "I am because you are"), or "humanity towards others" (Zulu umuntu ngumuntu ngabantu).

(~ Wikipedia, 2023)

So, really, my journey IS your journey. Your journey IS my journey too. As is quoted in my “About” page from the writer and Zen practitioner Peter Matthiessen: “The purpose of our life is to help others through theirs;” and from my spiritual teacher Ram Dass: “All we are really doing is walking each other home;” it is a part of what it means to be human to be in relationship with other humans and with other beings. Like Ubuntu teaches us: I cannot be fully me unless you become more you. What a lovely sentiment that. And what a lovely way to live—this mutual service to each other’s “becoming.” This “Alchemy of a Journey” is all about the making of a human; the making of me. And because we are united through Ubuntu, it could also be about you. But you have to choose—that’s the responsibility part. It takes effort, but the outcome is wonderfully inspiring.

It’s alchemy. We cook each other.

And with all that, I’m discovering more and more the beauty and joy that comes from living “A Grateful Life.” Reverence’s soul-twin is gratefulness. This is also something I’ll be exploring more, with you.

Ahead of the release (now out on Netflix) of a documentary of his life, called “Still,” the actor Michael J. Fox said something to the interviewer, Jane Pauley, that profoundly rocked my world—after she had asked him how he could remain so upbeat given the devastating and heart-wrenching ravages of his Parkinson’s Disease, he said:

“With gratitude, optimism is sustainable.”

Amen.

Thank you for being here and being present. Thank you for simply Being.

In gratium,

Always, and Ubuntu,

~ kert

My parting gift to you, from another sacred and beloved Elder of mine, Brother David Steindl-Rast:

“You think this is just another day in your life. It’s not just another day. It’s the one day that is given to you. Today! It’s a gift. It’s the only gift you have right now, and the only appropriate response…is gratefulness. […] Let the gratefulness overflow into blessing all around you. Then, it will really be, a good day.”

~ Br. David