Sometimes all it takes is BAKING!!!
I’ve written on this multiple times over the life of this blog—starting with THIS first installment here!
With THIS as the primary inspiration:
In fact, “How to Cook a Life” was one of the major themes and inspirations, when I was attempting to capture and put into writing the “Eldering” lessons my Dad was secretly and silently living in front of us, not only while he was journeying along with his brand of Parkinson’s and dementia, but also while he was journeying into his death. And while we were busy doing all that, we were also recollecting the Elderings mined from all the solitary moments of his living and farming—those we noticed and those only he lived in his own solitary and individual way; some of which he shared with us over the years of his retirement, some he shared with us here during his last year of life, most known forever, now, in perpetuity, only to him. Wherever he happens to be right now. And he’s everywhere right now.
Dad’s lived examples of how to live a meaningful and humble life continue to teach. That’s how alchemy works—once brought forth, combined with other ingredients (memories), and left to simmer in the minds and hearts of the rest of his family, we continue to benefit, in newer ways, from who my dad was, and how he was, while he was here with us. Dad’s life continues to cook our own—that, too, is how alchemy works.
But to be clear, my Dad NEVER baked a single thing in his entire life! THAT would have been fun to watch though.
But BAKING!!! YES!!!
I don’t know exactly how long ago I got into baking, but it was a while ago. And I got into it in an indirect, but meaningful way.
Hold up! I just remembered something. Yes, I still had this in my photo vault:
Know what these are? (Okay, duh. Besides the obvi!). These two loaves are the VERY FIRST two loaves I ever seriously baked! And as the new tech of photography allows, photos taken by cell phones come with date stamps!
So, I can revise my intro!
Here goes:
But BAKING!!! YES!!! (Revised)
I remember it clearly. The smell that came out of the oven on that JANUARY 7, 2012 DAY, when I took the first two loaves of my life that I baked, using organic ingredients, using organic LOVE, out of the oven. More than the smell, though, I remember the feeling I felt having created something like that with my own hands—the results of having a thought, that nurtured a desire, that prompted a search, that uncovered a beloved teacher, that resulted in an amazing loaf of bread. Ur, TWO loaves of bread!
One often ends up baking over the Holidays. Maybe a lot. And since we’ve put the 2023 Holidays securely behind us, I’ll disclose that I baked. A lot. Mostly breads, and rolls. Some cookies; unfortunately no vegan strawberry cupcakes that are ideally served frozen after taken out of the oven, cooled, then frosted. But mostly bread. Because I can, now. I don’t need no stinking pandemic to bake bread!
Quick aside—Two Medical disclaimers:
I have heard often how people will say “Oh, bread is my downfall. I can’t eat too much because it’s not really good for me. It’ll go straight to my hips and waist.”
Um, no. No it won’t. Not bread like this. Bread like this isn’t bad for you in the least.
Ingredients in “bread like this”:
Organic Whole Wheat and Artisan Bread flours, water, yeast, organic extra virgin olive oil, Himalayan pink salt, organic agave, organic oats, ground organic golden flax seeds. And organic, grown from the heart, LOVE.
You should taste bread like this, you really should.
For comparison:
Ingredients in Wonder Bread (aka NOT “bread like this”):
You should run away from bread like that—as quickly and as far as you can. That’s the bread that ain’t good for ya. “The whiter the bread, the quicker you’re ____!”
“Bread like this”?
Bread like this, my this, is a form of heaven. Bread like this is a little portion of the sky above us. Bread like this is sunlight and clouds. Bread like this is pure rainwater. Bread like this is Mother Earth herself. In other words, bread like this is a miracle (and not just because I learned to bake—though that’s not far from a different truth). Bread like this isn’t ever going to be harmful to you—In. Any. Way. Bread like this is salvation. Transcendent. Bread like this is medicine. Preservatives and high fructose corn syrup and calcium propionate need not apply. DO NOT apply!
Bread like this is…
…no wonder…
… LIFE itself.
So, EAT UP!!!
The Alchemy of Baking a Life
Baking is alchemy too. In a sense, it’s maybe one of the best exemplars of Alchemy—the combination of things, of ingredients, coupled with time, coupled with heat, to create something completely different; something T.A.S.T.Y. Something beautiful.
Yeah, perhaps baking is the better metaphor than cooking when it comes to alchemizing a life. With baking, you arrive at something completely different than what any of the starting ingredients could ever dream of looking—even in their most wildest of dreams. Flour and salt and yeast, despite their highest individual aspirations, ain’t ever gonna be bread all on their lonesomes. They need each other. And they need Alchemy.
Just like each of us.
But stay with me, cuz both cooking and baking are vital, necessary ways to alchemize our lives. We need both—we need to cook and we need to bake. Both are a part of our ancient heritage, informed by our ancestors, and the cultures they and we grew up in. Baking involves precision—the baker MUST rely upon skill, memory, and recipe to create what is intended. Baking is akin and analogous to chemistry. The best bakers are master chemists. Change any one ingredient, amount, or timing, and you ain’t gonna get what you think you’re gonna get. Practice and experience won’t guarantee an edible final outcome. Sometimes you gotta throw it away—just let it go—if it flops. Our lives can be this way. Um…are lives are this way.
NOT the “throw it away” part, please—don’t ever do that. But definitely the “let it go” part—when things sometime flop, because things will at times, just…let those go. Then start again.
Cooking is different. Cooking is more intuitive, can be more “care-free” and creative in its process. In the final product of cooking, in the cooked dish, unlike the baked item, individual ingredients are often still discernible. When I make my homemade vegan hot sesame Daring “cajun chicken” with angel hair pasta, I can still see the pasta, the red bell peppers, the petite peas and sliced carrots, the glistening extra virgin olive and sesame oils, the vegan Daring cajun chicken, and the green onions. In cooking, the only thing transformed is how the combined ingredients taste when they are brought together, with love and time, then heated. Cooking is more akin and analogous to jazz music. The best cooks are jazz impresarios. Change any one ingredient, amount, or timing, (btw, the best chef impresarios never cook the same dish twice—always improvising), and you get something different. Maybe better tasting, maybe not. But likely still edible. With practice, always good nonetheless. Our lives can be this way too. Um…are lives are this way.
Our lives are just this way.
Why I bake
I bake because I’m human. I bake because I appreciate life, and beauty, and creating, and serving others. Because I thrive on serving love to others. And because I learned, early in my zen practice, that THIS was the way to live—if one was serious about living. Cooking and baking are serious zen practices. Baking and cooking are zen.
Cooking and baking are LIFE.
Taped inside one of our kitchen cabinet doors are these two items:
— A picture of Edward Espe (Ed) Brown, one of my zen mentors and one of the first head cooks, Tenzos, at Tassajara Zen Monastery in Monterey County, California, located deeply within the Las Padres National Forest—5 hours driving time south and east of San Francisco. Tassajara was the first established zen monastery (in 1967) in America. Ed Brown created the landmark bestselling cookbook: “The Tassajara Bread Book,” hugely popular and influential among the counterculturals and beatniks of the late 60’s and 1970’s; and anyone who loves a great slice of bread!
— The quote underneath, written in my own hand on the card but not fully authored by me, is heavily influenced by the many teachings and teachers who’ve taught me that cooking, and baking, are not just essential to our lives because we have to eat to live, they can and should be sacred to our lives because both have the power to do so much more. SO much more. As long as we approach the cooking, baking, and eating, with reverence.
“To nourish people is not just a matter of putting food in their belly, it is the nourishment of the whole body and mind. If there is anger and confusion in the preparation of the food, people eat anger and confusion; if there is wisdom, compassion, and love, we eat wisdom, compassion, and love. Life nourishes us; we in turn nourish each other, and return our lives to the ten thousand things.”
These words I say often as my mantra and offering prior to most every meal I cook. And certainly, every loaf of bread I bake.
Personally, I think you can taste the difference when a chef or baker offers food in this way. I believe the food becomes more nourishing, starting way back when the meal was first conceived and ingredients first foraged or bought, when THIS is the main ingredient and first direction of the recipe: LOVE, always love as the main ingredient and first step in the process. Everything, then, becomes Soul Food!
Food tastes better. And it’s better for you. The WHOLE you. Because, ultimately, when you taste food and bread like this…
… you really are tasting Love.
And THAT is how one should bake. THAT is how one should cook.
THAT is how one should live a life.
~ k
Always and Ubuntu.
🙏🏼
If you’re interested in Ed Brown, one of my inspirations:
If you are REALLY interested, come on by and we’ll watch the entire movie together. I have the DVD. There might be fresh, organic, homemade, wholewheat bread involved.
In fact, our time together could better still if you bring some of what you, yourself, baked. Just remember the love.
I can taste the difference.
HERE’S A SPECIAL NOTE FROM ME TO YOU: