“Why’s THAT your fav, huh?”

Bet my why is better!

One of the things we humans thought at one time really set us apart from other species, before scientists began to systematically study the vocalizations of those others, was our ability to make music. Setting aside those other species right now and the fascinating research into functional (and not so functional) communication, it is thought humans initially began to create music to keep time. Think about it—sea shanties, folk songs sung to repetitive work routines, chain gangs, cadence calls in military marches and runs, chants, “negro spirituals,” waltzes—music helped humans performing those tasks, especially if multiple humans were engaged in the same task at the same time, to keep time. Heck, even music teachers use what’s called a metronome to help their students keep time when they create music.

Go figure. It’s so like us: humans have created a device to help keep time for a created device to help humans keep time.

But how cool is that?

This isn’t about other species and it’s not about historical originations, though. This is about favorites. And why.

This is about The Alchemy of a life and a life’s journey in real time, even during, well, especially during, a momentous event.

What’s YOUR favorite song?

Are you like I was (notice the past tense) and have many favorites? Are you like me in that you’ve created a music queue of your favorites? For different seasons or different moods? Do you just say out loud “Alexa, play Ludovico Einaudi radio from Pandora.” Or “Bruce Hornsby,” or “Peter Gabriel” or “Mark Knopfler” or “Sleeping At Last,” or “Taylor Swift” even. Or, for that matter, “Classic Country Western Music” or “No Shoes Radio from Sirius XM.” Or if you are Kristin: “Josh Grobin.”

Okay, WHY is that, or are those, your favorite? You love the artist or group? Great lyrics? Great melody? Evokes deep emotions? Brings back certain memories? Reminds you of a favorite someone or some time or some event? Is played while you and your dad are on the deck in the late summer of his final year of life reminiscing about “the old days?” You can dance to it? You know all the words? All of these?

Some other reason?

Okay, yeah. About that “some other reason….”

I used to think all those reasons were reasons for my favorite songs too. Until recently. Until two weeks ago, actually. Until my daughter’s wedding, more specifically.

Because I have a new favorite song and it was nowhere on my radar even though I do love the artist and the song came out, as part of a soundtrack to a movie, in 1999 (a full 24 years ago! YIKES!). And an animated movie at that. A DISNEY animated movie! If we were to engage in debate about favorite songs and the reasons we have them, I’ll bet my new reason will top yours. Or at least tie yours if you have a similar reason. (And I hope you do, or will at some point in your life. You should be so lucky.)

You see, a song you have almost forgotten becomes your favorite song when your daughter selected it for your “Father/Daughter” dance at her wedding reception. That song was kept a secret until the DJ played it; but the song almost didn’t happen at the reception because you and your daughter had a bit of an argument about just who should select the song for that special dance. Is the Father/Daughter song from the dad to the daughter as a tribute to her new life journey under a new name? Or is it from the daughter to her dad to honor all that went before to get her to this new moment?

Trust me, it was “a thing.”

And because both you and your daughter can be told there’s a bit of a stubborn streak that runs through both of you, you realize the impasse you are at so you enlist the judgment of your daughter’s fiancé to be the final arbiter and then to talk with the DJ himself as to the song that should be played—keeping the final decision secret from us both. I’ll leave it to you to decide if my agreeing to that was a test of my future son-in-law. BTW, it was my idea to get the future son-in-law involved to begin with. But still, I’ll leave it to you. Anyway, by the time I heard the song, as its first chords were played aloud, and as my daughter and I were both on the dance floor, they were already married. Too late to object. Which is to say my daughter’s choice won. (Smart man my new son-in-law!). Note: I wouldn’t have objected, anyway. It’s a pretty great song heard now in a very new light.

That’s the how and why my new favorite song became my new favorite song. And nothing will top it. So, now, instead of having dozens of favorites, I have only one ultimate fav. And every time I hear it from this time forward, there will be smiles and, I’ll not lie, tears too. ‘Cuz tears there were. How could there not be? Every word of the song is true. And it goes both ways between my daughter and me. You could even say it was the perfect song for that moment—and all the father/daughter moments previous, and all the father/daughter moments to come.

The song?

From her favorite Disney movie. Do you know (remember?) which one?

Yep, my new favorite.

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Always and Ub…

What?

What’s that you say?

What was the song I had chosen? The song not selected by my son-in-law to be THE ONE for the all important “Father/Daughter” dance at HER wedding to him?

Well, thank you for asking. THAT would be my second all time favorite song cuz I’ll remember when I wanted it played, and for whom, and why. And yes, it did show up at one point in the evening’s reception when the DJ played it as part of his rotation. No one but me knew the deeper meaning of it—and that was perfect. Probably, no, not probably, EXACTLY as it was meant to be.

And every word of it, too, is true.

Now Always and Ubuntu,

~ kert

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Postscript: And there’s a bit more.

The Father/Daughter dance to “You’ll Be In My Heart,” by Phil Collins from Disney’s “Tarzan” soundtrack, had to be renamed at the reception to “The Father/Daughter for most, Mother/Daughter to end it Dance.” As the song neared it’s last third, we ended our dance as my daughter went to her surprised mother and invited her to the floor to finish. It was my daughter’s idea.

In case you were wondering, that’s another reason why we have a perfect daughter.

Don’t argue with me, you’ll lose.

Oh, and then there’s this—my new favorite tie given to me by said perfect daughter at my own “first look” of said perfect daughter in her wedding gown, two hours before the ceremony and worn proudly with a full heart the rest of that wonderful day and evening:

In case you’re still wondering, that’s another reason why we have a perfect daughter.

And if you argue with me, you’d still lose.

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