Caring too much has been an ongoing source of sorrow and a compelling inquiry into freedom for many years. The challenge has been learning to care less and trust more.
But it’s not easy because to be human is to care deeply about our lives and the world around us. “Teach us to care and not to care,” wrote T.S. Eliot, one of my favorite lines.
The nuance in this paradoxical practice is to, in fact, care more about the world. Which should prompt benevolent action based on compassion. If we can be assured we’ve done our very best, then regardless of outcome, we did our very best. And we can always try again. As I said in the post, I like to believe I have a deeply caring heart; and to protect it fully, I practice “not caring” how things turn out. No matter how things turn out, that is then the next opportunity to bring my best game to that moment. But I’m foreshadowing the final installment in this series. Ryan, I REALLY appreciate you my friend for the depth of your engagement with me.
You always leave me feeling better than before I read what you wrote, Kert. With you, I feel seen. My eyes teared up. The uncle I felt closest to took an interest in me. He was a school principal like you. I appreciate your friendship. 🤗
That’s so incredibly kind. Gentle souls resonate. I feel you. But don’t give me too much credit for “making you feel a certain way.” YOU are the one generating that feeling within yourself! THAT’s what’s cool about all this—we create for each other the space for our true selves to be expressed. It takes courage at times to express our true selves—like you, when another offers that space to me as well, I do feel it a gift. And then I get proud of myself for engaging no matter how vulnerable it has to be. Know that I’ve seen you, over and over in this Substack ecosystem of relationships, doing just that for others. So, your writing has mattered—your presence has made a difference. Because you are here. And your kind words just now to me made my day.
I concur with everything you wrote and appreciate your affirming words and friendship on Substack, Kert. Please keep being you and engaging "no matter how vulnerable it has to be." Looking forward to our next exchange.
I’m loving these explorations. I’ve been practicing not caring too. Which, as you say, doesn’t mean what it sounds like. I feel much steadier for the practice!
Got me thinking on this Friday, Kert ❤️ Time to pull out The Untethered Soul
I relate wholeheartedly, Kert.
Caring too much has been an ongoing source of sorrow and a compelling inquiry into freedom for many years. The challenge has been learning to care less and trust more.
But it’s not easy because to be human is to care deeply about our lives and the world around us. “Teach us to care and not to care,” wrote T.S. Eliot, one of my favorite lines.
Thank you for this valuable exploration.
The nuance in this paradoxical practice is to, in fact, care more about the world. Which should prompt benevolent action based on compassion. If we can be assured we’ve done our very best, then regardless of outcome, we did our very best. And we can always try again. As I said in the post, I like to believe I have a deeply caring heart; and to protect it fully, I practice “not caring” how things turn out. No matter how things turn out, that is then the next opportunity to bring my best game to that moment. But I’m foreshadowing the final installment in this series. Ryan, I REALLY appreciate you my friend for the depth of your engagement with me.
You always leave me feeling better than before I read what you wrote, Kert. With you, I feel seen. My eyes teared up. The uncle I felt closest to took an interest in me. He was a school principal like you. I appreciate your friendship. 🤗
That’s so incredibly kind. Gentle souls resonate. I feel you. But don’t give me too much credit for “making you feel a certain way.” YOU are the one generating that feeling within yourself! THAT’s what’s cool about all this—we create for each other the space for our true selves to be expressed. It takes courage at times to express our true selves—like you, when another offers that space to me as well, I do feel it a gift. And then I get proud of myself for engaging no matter how vulnerable it has to be. Know that I’ve seen you, over and over in this Substack ecosystem of relationships, doing just that for others. So, your writing has mattered—your presence has made a difference. Because you are here. And your kind words just now to me made my day.
I concur with everything you wrote and appreciate your affirming words and friendship on Substack, Kert. Please keep being you and engaging "no matter how vulnerable it has to be." Looking forward to our next exchange.
Once again, so much to think about. Love the concepts, struggle with the daily realities, just like you and most people I guess.
I’m loving these explorations. I’ve been practicing not caring too. Which, as you say, doesn’t mean what it sounds like. I feel much steadier for the practice!