This is a wonderful post, Kert. Its message felt very close to a part of Chapter 2 of the Tao Te Ching for me.
“Therefore the Master
acts without doing anything
and teaches without saying anything.
Things arise and she lets them come;
things disappear and she lets them go.
She has but doesn't possess,
acts but doesn't expect.
When her work is done, she forgets it.
That is why it lasts forever.”
Which is a way of being I work to live by. As you say, sometimes it’s easier than others.
I’m interested to know how you don’t use “hope you…” in interactions. As soon as I started reading this I thought about saying “I hope you’re doing well” to people when I message them.
Have No Hope = Wu Wei! YES! It’s no surprise, at least to me and no doubt you, that everything returns to The Tao! That Lao Tzu dude sure knew what the heck he was talking about.
Okay, yeah, about the whole “I hope you are doing well” thing. As this practice deepened in me, I really have become hyper-sensitive to the use of the word “hope” in all contexts. So, even in the relatively small verbal gestures that are meant to be polite (who wouldn’t want another to hope we are doing well?), I try to bring it to a more active, empowering statement. For example, in a situation where I would say something like that, I have either said “I trust you and family are well?” or “I trust you would let me know if you weren’t well, right?” or “you good?” or, (and I kid you not), I’ve said “What’s been going great for you lately?” I’ve noticed that a different phrasing actually prompts deeper conversation since the other person doesn’t expect it. So, they stop and actually think about a response. If it didn’t phase the other person at all, at least I walk away remembering I don’t need to use or rely upon hope of any kind—I can act and be empowered. It is not an insignificant way of being.
Last point on the issue: another polite phrase we overuse is “I hope you have a great day.” When I was in college, my football (sorry, not futbol!) team played against a rival who was coached by a legendary coach—renowned for his philosophies on life and how he grew his players to be great people. Much was written about him, including how he used empowering language too. I credit him for changing me away from the tired “Have a great day” salutation to “MAKE it a great day.” There is a world of everything between the passive “have” and the active “make.” I’ve never forgotten that lesson.
That is a powerful lesson. I am going to try and adopt the not using hope in my greetings to people! And yes, I reckon that Lau Tzu really was pretty clued up!
I appreciate this, Kert. It feels like quite a shift in thinking for me yet it does resonate so I know I want to spend some time with it. Thank you for the time and thoughtfulness you put into this and I look forward to next week.
This is a wonderful post, Kert. Its message felt very close to a part of Chapter 2 of the Tao Te Ching for me.
“Therefore the Master
acts without doing anything
and teaches without saying anything.
Things arise and she lets them come;
things disappear and she lets them go.
She has but doesn't possess,
acts but doesn't expect.
When her work is done, she forgets it.
That is why it lasts forever.”
Which is a way of being I work to live by. As you say, sometimes it’s easier than others.
I’m interested to know how you don’t use “hope you…” in interactions. As soon as I started reading this I thought about saying “I hope you’re doing well” to people when I message them.
Have No Hope = Wu Wei! YES! It’s no surprise, at least to me and no doubt you, that everything returns to The Tao! That Lao Tzu dude sure knew what the heck he was talking about.
Okay, yeah, about the whole “I hope you are doing well” thing. As this practice deepened in me, I really have become hyper-sensitive to the use of the word “hope” in all contexts. So, even in the relatively small verbal gestures that are meant to be polite (who wouldn’t want another to hope we are doing well?), I try to bring it to a more active, empowering statement. For example, in a situation where I would say something like that, I have either said “I trust you and family are well?” or “I trust you would let me know if you weren’t well, right?” or “you good?” or, (and I kid you not), I’ve said “What’s been going great for you lately?” I’ve noticed that a different phrasing actually prompts deeper conversation since the other person doesn’t expect it. So, they stop and actually think about a response. If it didn’t phase the other person at all, at least I walk away remembering I don’t need to use or rely upon hope of any kind—I can act and be empowered. It is not an insignificant way of being.
Last point on the issue: another polite phrase we overuse is “I hope you have a great day.” When I was in college, my football (sorry, not futbol!) team played against a rival who was coached by a legendary coach—renowned for his philosophies on life and how he grew his players to be great people. Much was written about him, including how he used empowering language too. I credit him for changing me away from the tired “Have a great day” salutation to “MAKE it a great day.” There is a world of everything between the passive “have” and the active “make.” I’ve never forgotten that lesson.
That is a powerful lesson. I am going to try and adopt the not using hope in my greetings to people! And yes, I reckon that Lau Tzu really was pretty clued up!
I appreciate this, Kert. It feels like quite a shift in thinking for me yet it does resonate so I know I want to spend some time with it. Thank you for the time and thoughtfulness you put into this and I look forward to next week.
As Ben Franklin said "If you live on hope you die fasting." Great insights in the post, thank you!
Spot on!!! Love your moniker!
Fellow vegan here!
Thank you! Love finding fellow vegans here...it’s always great to connect.