Kert, I think this is one of your most powerful essays to date. First, I commend you for recognizing your faults and acknowledging them publicly. That isn't easy. But we are all human, and as such, we are all broken and faulty creatures. How we come to terms with that and live in a broken world says a great deal about us. When thinking of our faults, I always think of Kintsugi, the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold or silver. When reassembled, it is more beautiful because of its brokenness.
I have struggled a great deal with the entire political discussion and have largely stayed out of it because I find it so distressing. If I am being honest, and I always try to be, I wasn't happy with any of the candidates in the election. I thought that for such an amazing nation as ours with so many brilliant minds, this is the best we can come up with? These are our choices?
I have always considered myself a centrist, believing that extremes tend to destroy stability. That goes for many things in my life, not just politics. Unfortunately, with our ridiculous two-party primary system of politics, the extremes are catered to in most cases. On both the right and the left. I think that most people probably, like me, fall somewhere in the middle and, therefore, feel left out or confused by the whole process.
I keep coming back to this quote:
“In life our first job is this, to divide and distinguish things into two categories: externals I cannot control, but the choices I make with regard to them I do control. Where will I find good and bad? In me, in my choices.”—Epictetus
How do I respond to situations in my life? That is what I can control. I love that quote you shared from Mother Teresa and how framing the response makes all the difference.
My greatest frustration with politics is how divisive it is. I have seen it ruin families and friendships. All in the pursuit of power. Because the truth is that neither party nor most politicians really care about the people. They want to hold on to what they have, their piece of the pie.
For me, I want to hold on to kindness. I want to be known as a generous and loving spirit. I want for my friends and family to come from all different backgrounds and ideas. I want civil discourse in an increasingly uncivil world.
Sorry for dragging this comment on so long but your essay hit me today and I wanted to share my thoughts. All the best, Matthew
I’m thrilled you commented like this Matthew. Knowing you served our country with distinction, and as a career, these words carry special meaning. I never served but sometimes wished I did. So I know what it takes, inside, for a person to make that choice, then do it. A certain measure of conviction, pride in place, duty, and love of country—then the fortitude to move ahead and simply do it. I think all citizens should take a deeper look at how this country’s leadership and policies are impacting our Veterans and their families. Not just in policy impacts like the VA and other benefits, but more along the lines of pride. Most Veterans I’ve met are humbly proud of their service—because they were mostly proud of their country, even given its faults. I find myself compelled to want to engage with the Veterans I see now to ask them how they are feeling about things right now. They (you) have a certain perspective most of the rest of us simply do not have. And we should not only pay attention to that, but seek it out. This is why I’m grateful you responded as you did and that you continue to honor me with your engagement in all things Substack.
While we’re on that topic, what are you reading right now? I just picked up a very intriguing book called “Indigenous Healing Psychology” by Richard Katz. Our Native peoples are another group that have unique perspectives and wisdom about “our” country. We improve our quality of life the closer we move towards living as Indigenous people once (and may still in some ways) lived.
I love the Epictetus quote and I agree with your perspectives on our politics and two-party system. And I’d think we would also have agreement on the wealth gap in our country and the toxic capitalism that rules over everyone.
Here’s to simpler times. At least I can try every day to live closer to that myself along with the struggle I feel to be an active citizen and social justice advocate.
I just started reading The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt. I have a teenage daughter who rarely looks up from her phone. I am trying to understand a little more about her generation and how things changed so quickly over the last 20-30 years.
I am also reading The Library by Andrew Pettegrew. I am of course fascinated by all things book related and this history of the library both as a private and public institution is quite fascinating.
I just recently finished reading Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Kimmerer. That was a powerful book and speaks to many of the Indigenous philosophies about connectedness, especially with the earth. This is an area I want to learn more about and will likely be digging deeper in the coming years. I will take a look at the book you mentioned. I appreciate the recommendation.
One of these days I need to explore my military service a bit more in some writing, especially the ways in which my idea of our nation changed over the years of my service. Not negatively but I would say my ideas matured as I gained understanding and a small bit of wisdom with age. There is much to be proud of and much to atone for as well. We are a complicated nation and a complicated people. I am trying to put a little distance (time) between my service and my reflections but I will write about it one day.
Thank you. That you continue in this space makes me feel so grateful. BTW, I have that Jonathan Haidt book and it’s next on my TBR list! As a former principal, and new grandpa, I remain deeply engaged in how we, collectively, are raising our kids and the role (very destructive if you were to ask me) social media has played in all our lives (I always hesitate to recommend other things, but a nice companion to that book would be the documentary “The Social Network.” How fascinating would it be if you and your daughter sat side by side to watch it? Okay, switching out of my teacher mode). I hope you will write about your learnings after reading The Anxious Generation—I’d look forward to reading that from you! And you probably remember Braiding Sweetgrass is perhaps in my top 5 of all time favorite books—one of the very few books I gift to others. Thank you again my friend.
He is due toward the end of this month, first part of May. His name is Theodore Ernesto Medlin (to be called Teddy or Theo). My daughter-in-law's mom will be there for approx one month to help out. Jack and I are going down mid-June (if I can wait that long). How is your grand baby doing?
Thank you, Kert, for putting into words what's imprinted on my heart and I have been struggling to articulate. I imagine everyone who reads this will think the same way I do: he's writing this for me.
I've been calling my husband a "recovering Republican" since a few months into -you know who's- last presidency. It was my husband who moved me with his conviction to participate in the "hands off" protest on April 5th.
I read what you wrote about that evolution of your husband’s and admire his ability to move to a higher plane of awareness about today’s politics. He needs to know from those of us on the other side of the aisle that we see what he did and know how profound a move that was. Citizens who are of the GOP tribe, but are not in public office, are more apt to have those sentiments as they are not beholden to their leader for any kickbacks, favors, or fear of retaliation. We’re stuck in these artificial labels; tribalism at its ugliest—both “sides”. Future leaders will have a big job of uniting us back together—I don’t know exactly how that will happen now (maybe no longer in my lifetime), but it’s likely going to involve an understanding that the majority of us do hold a few core values in common. This country will need massive healing. Mandela and Tutu did it in South Africa; Gandhi did it in India—I don’t know who that next leader for us will be but I think I do see someone out there who just might have the characteristics of what this country needs. Thank you Paulette!
That’s a funny ask—I actually wrote the name and sealed it in an envelope with the date and have told no one. Just to see if I’m any good a prognostication (which recently hasn’t been too accurate, me predicting Harris. I actually thought a couple years ago Harris WAS going to be our first female president; but now that’s closed on her.) We’ll stay in touch over the years to see if I’m right.
I am no Mother Theresa, fall short of her example, yet try my best. Perfect response, would march for peace 🕊️ These are extremely trying times. When will emperor realize he has no clothes, sooner the better. I appreciate Canada more than ever.
Kert, This is so beautiful and honest. How wonderful you found a middle way that honors your peaceful presence and the need to speak up. The life energy many of us were focusing on bettering conditions for all is now being called to help hold up the promise of democracy. It's exhausting, not how any of us intended to spend our time nor probably want to spend out time, but for me, I can't do anything other than speak up--if not for myself, for my niece and all nieces and daughters and sons, for those with less ability to speak up, and for all our more-than-human friends without a voice in politics. I applaud you.
We HAVE to do better by our kids—they have to grow up knowing this level of hatred, anger, and greed is NOT the way to live a life of meaning. Let alone kindness.
Kert, this is a beautiful and inspiring piece. Recently I've wrestled with how to be the best activist and resister I can be. As you point out, it's really better for the self and others to stand for something than to stand against something. I stand with you in kindness, love and goodwill. Standing for these things helps to protect and maintain the qualities of our humanity. Thank you for sharing your story . . .
Right? I mean, if a person’s gonna argue against kindness, compassion, and love, THAT says everything about that person. If I sling arrows and hatred their way, it’s easy (and probably appropriate) for them to argue against me—and I’d deserve it too because I’d be acting no better than them. I’m learning that one can still hold firm and passionate beliefs, grounded in Truth, facts, evidence and science, and at the same time resist all policies, behaviors, and actions from other that are counter to them—but from a place of kindness. Obviously, great leaders knew how to do this seemingly effortlessly, but I had to find my own little sliver of humanity to act with congruence.
"I’m learning that one can still hold firm and passionate beliefs, grounded in Truth, facts, evidence and science, and at the same time resist all policies, behaviors, and actions from other that are counter to them—but from a place of kindness." My wish would be that this be everyone's lesson. We do not have to make people we disagree with the enemy. Compassion and kindness are practices. We are all imperfect in their execution, but I cannot imagine another practice that would serve more. Thank you for all your great writing, Kert. The world needs more thinkers and poets like you. Big hugs.
That’s such a kind thing to say, Stephanie. So thank you, too, for being the model and exemplar of what this world needs right now. We do our part—and if every day a few more people did their part, pretty soon we will look around to find we created exactly what we are!
Enjoyed reading this Kert , as it follows some on my thoughts , vulnerabilities and trajectories . We are being forced to choose is no neutral in a Tyranny,
You are in the zone my friend. I love this. It inspires me to think, write. Love the saying Kindness trumps Hatred.
Role model writer. Bravo.
Slaint'
Coming from you, this is incredibly high praise. Thank you William! What a great way to start my day.
Kert, I think this is one of your most powerful essays to date. First, I commend you for recognizing your faults and acknowledging them publicly. That isn't easy. But we are all human, and as such, we are all broken and faulty creatures. How we come to terms with that and live in a broken world says a great deal about us. When thinking of our faults, I always think of Kintsugi, the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold or silver. When reassembled, it is more beautiful because of its brokenness.
I have struggled a great deal with the entire political discussion and have largely stayed out of it because I find it so distressing. If I am being honest, and I always try to be, I wasn't happy with any of the candidates in the election. I thought that for such an amazing nation as ours with so many brilliant minds, this is the best we can come up with? These are our choices?
I have always considered myself a centrist, believing that extremes tend to destroy stability. That goes for many things in my life, not just politics. Unfortunately, with our ridiculous two-party primary system of politics, the extremes are catered to in most cases. On both the right and the left. I think that most people probably, like me, fall somewhere in the middle and, therefore, feel left out or confused by the whole process.
I keep coming back to this quote:
“In life our first job is this, to divide and distinguish things into two categories: externals I cannot control, but the choices I make with regard to them I do control. Where will I find good and bad? In me, in my choices.”—Epictetus
How do I respond to situations in my life? That is what I can control. I love that quote you shared from Mother Teresa and how framing the response makes all the difference.
My greatest frustration with politics is how divisive it is. I have seen it ruin families and friendships. All in the pursuit of power. Because the truth is that neither party nor most politicians really care about the people. They want to hold on to what they have, their piece of the pie.
For me, I want to hold on to kindness. I want to be known as a generous and loving spirit. I want for my friends and family to come from all different backgrounds and ideas. I want civil discourse in an increasingly uncivil world.
Sorry for dragging this comment on so long but your essay hit me today and I wanted to share my thoughts. All the best, Matthew
I’m thrilled you commented like this Matthew. Knowing you served our country with distinction, and as a career, these words carry special meaning. I never served but sometimes wished I did. So I know what it takes, inside, for a person to make that choice, then do it. A certain measure of conviction, pride in place, duty, and love of country—then the fortitude to move ahead and simply do it. I think all citizens should take a deeper look at how this country’s leadership and policies are impacting our Veterans and their families. Not just in policy impacts like the VA and other benefits, but more along the lines of pride. Most Veterans I’ve met are humbly proud of their service—because they were mostly proud of their country, even given its faults. I find myself compelled to want to engage with the Veterans I see now to ask them how they are feeling about things right now. They (you) have a certain perspective most of the rest of us simply do not have. And we should not only pay attention to that, but seek it out. This is why I’m grateful you responded as you did and that you continue to honor me with your engagement in all things Substack.
While we’re on that topic, what are you reading right now? I just picked up a very intriguing book called “Indigenous Healing Psychology” by Richard Katz. Our Native peoples are another group that have unique perspectives and wisdom about “our” country. We improve our quality of life the closer we move towards living as Indigenous people once (and may still in some ways) lived.
I love the Epictetus quote and I agree with your perspectives on our politics and two-party system. And I’d think we would also have agreement on the wealth gap in our country and the toxic capitalism that rules over everyone.
Here’s to simpler times. At least I can try every day to live closer to that myself along with the struggle I feel to be an active citizen and social justice advocate.
I just started reading The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt. I have a teenage daughter who rarely looks up from her phone. I am trying to understand a little more about her generation and how things changed so quickly over the last 20-30 years.
I am also reading The Library by Andrew Pettegrew. I am of course fascinated by all things book related and this history of the library both as a private and public institution is quite fascinating.
I just recently finished reading Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Kimmerer. That was a powerful book and speaks to many of the Indigenous philosophies about connectedness, especially with the earth. This is an area I want to learn more about and will likely be digging deeper in the coming years. I will take a look at the book you mentioned. I appreciate the recommendation.
One of these days I need to explore my military service a bit more in some writing, especially the ways in which my idea of our nation changed over the years of my service. Not negatively but I would say my ideas matured as I gained understanding and a small bit of wisdom with age. There is much to be proud of and much to atone for as well. We are a complicated nation and a complicated people. I am trying to put a little distance (time) between my service and my reflections but I will write about it one day.
Thank you. That you continue in this space makes me feel so grateful. BTW, I have that Jonathan Haidt book and it’s next on my TBR list! As a former principal, and new grandpa, I remain deeply engaged in how we, collectively, are raising our kids and the role (very destructive if you were to ask me) social media has played in all our lives (I always hesitate to recommend other things, but a nice companion to that book would be the documentary “The Social Network.” How fascinating would it be if you and your daughter sat side by side to watch it? Okay, switching out of my teacher mode). I hope you will write about your learnings after reading The Anxious Generation—I’d look forward to reading that from you! And you probably remember Braiding Sweetgrass is perhaps in my top 5 of all time favorite books—one of the very few books I gift to others. Thank you again my friend.
Love the quote from Epictetus and how you have responded to this excellent post.
I love your 'words' brother!! And I love you.
You are SO lovely!!! I miss you.
I’m going to make a point to see you, somehow, someway, this summer.
Most definitely. We will make it happen... hugs to all the family.
Grandchild update?
He is due toward the end of this month, first part of May. His name is Theodore Ernesto Medlin (to be called Teddy or Theo). My daughter-in-law's mom will be there for approx one month to help out. Jack and I are going down mid-June (if I can wait that long). How is your grand baby doing?
Thank you, Kert, for putting into words what's imprinted on my heart and I have been struggling to articulate. I imagine everyone who reads this will think the same way I do: he's writing this for me.
I've been calling my husband a "recovering Republican" since a few months into -you know who's- last presidency. It was my husband who moved me with his conviction to participate in the "hands off" protest on April 5th.
I read what you wrote about that evolution of your husband’s and admire his ability to move to a higher plane of awareness about today’s politics. He needs to know from those of us on the other side of the aisle that we see what he did and know how profound a move that was. Citizens who are of the GOP tribe, but are not in public office, are more apt to have those sentiments as they are not beholden to their leader for any kickbacks, favors, or fear of retaliation. We’re stuck in these artificial labels; tribalism at its ugliest—both “sides”. Future leaders will have a big job of uniting us back together—I don’t know exactly how that will happen now (maybe no longer in my lifetime), but it’s likely going to involve an understanding that the majority of us do hold a few core values in common. This country will need massive healing. Mandela and Tutu did it in South Africa; Gandhi did it in India—I don’t know who that next leader for us will be but I think I do see someone out there who just might have the characteristics of what this country needs. Thank you Paulette!
I missed this, Kert. And who might that someone be, if you're up for naming now? Either way, that gives me some comfort.
That’s a funny ask—I actually wrote the name and sealed it in an envelope with the date and have told no one. Just to see if I’m any good a prognostication (which recently hasn’t been too accurate, me predicting Harris. I actually thought a couple years ago Harris WAS going to be our first female president; but now that’s closed on her.) We’ll stay in touch over the years to see if I’m right.
I love that you did that, Kert!
I am no Mother Theresa, fall short of her example, yet try my best. Perfect response, would march for peace 🕊️ These are extremely trying times. When will emperor realize he has no clothes, sooner the better. I appreciate Canada more than ever.
Kert, This is so beautiful and honest. How wonderful you found a middle way that honors your peaceful presence and the need to speak up. The life energy many of us were focusing on bettering conditions for all is now being called to help hold up the promise of democracy. It's exhausting, not how any of us intended to spend our time nor probably want to spend out time, but for me, I can't do anything other than speak up--if not for myself, for my niece and all nieces and daughters and sons, for those with less ability to speak up, and for all our more-than-human friends without a voice in politics. I applaud you.
Amen to all that! Thanks Dr. Wendy.
We HAVE to do better by our kids—they have to grow up knowing this level of hatred, anger, and greed is NOT the way to live a life of meaning. Let alone kindness.
Agreed! To kindness…🩵
Kert, this is a beautiful and inspiring piece. Recently I've wrestled with how to be the best activist and resister I can be. As you point out, it's really better for the self and others to stand for something than to stand against something. I stand with you in kindness, love and goodwill. Standing for these things helps to protect and maintain the qualities of our humanity. Thank you for sharing your story . . .
Right? I mean, if a person’s gonna argue against kindness, compassion, and love, THAT says everything about that person. If I sling arrows and hatred their way, it’s easy (and probably appropriate) for them to argue against me—and I’d deserve it too because I’d be acting no better than them. I’m learning that one can still hold firm and passionate beliefs, grounded in Truth, facts, evidence and science, and at the same time resist all policies, behaviors, and actions from other that are counter to them—but from a place of kindness. Obviously, great leaders knew how to do this seemingly effortlessly, but I had to find my own little sliver of humanity to act with congruence.
"I’m learning that one can still hold firm and passionate beliefs, grounded in Truth, facts, evidence and science, and at the same time resist all policies, behaviors, and actions from other that are counter to them—but from a place of kindness." My wish would be that this be everyone's lesson. We do not have to make people we disagree with the enemy. Compassion and kindness are practices. We are all imperfect in their execution, but I cannot imagine another practice that would serve more. Thank you for all your great writing, Kert. The world needs more thinkers and poets like you. Big hugs.
That’s such a kind thing to say, Stephanie. So thank you, too, for being the model and exemplar of what this world needs right now. We do our part—and if every day a few more people did their part, pretty soon we will look around to find we created exactly what we are!
YES!
So glad you stood for kindness, Kert. 🙏💚🙏🩷
‘United we can,’
reads the rally sign they made.
May caring prevail.
“Kindness trumps Hatred”
A rallying cry inside
Our better angels
Enjoyed reading this Kert , as it follows some on my thoughts , vulnerabilities and trajectories . We are being forced to choose is no neutral in a Tyranny,