First, two definitions to set the stage and insure we’re on the same page:
Definition #1:
lost
/lôst,läst/
verb
past and past participle of lose.
adjective: lost
unable to find one's way; not knowing one's whereabouts.
"Help! We're lost!"
Similar: stray, astray, off-course, off-track, disoriented, having lost one's bearings, adrift, at sea
unable to be found.
Similar: missing, strayed, misplaced, vanished, disappeared, forgotten, nowhere to be found, gone
(of a person) very confused or insecure or in great difficulties.
"she stood there clutching a drink, feeling completely lost"
denoting something that has been taken away or cannot be recovered.
"if only one could recapture one's lost youth"
Similar: bygone, past, former, old, departed, vanished, forgotten, unremembered, consigned to oblivion, extinct, dead, outmoded, passé
(of time or an opportunity) not used advantageously; wasted.
"the decision meant a lost opportunity to create 200 jobs"
having perished or been destroyed.
"a memorial to the lost crewmen"
(of a game or contest) in which a defeat has been sustained.
"the lost election of 1994"
(Oxford Languages Dictionary, 2025)
Okay, these are fine and proper. But a better definition of “lost” I found when listening to a mini-documentary on one of my philosopher/poet teachers, Stephen Jenkinson:
“You know the word lost? It means you’re not where you wish you were. That’s what lost is. It doesn’t mean you don’t know where you are, it means you wish you weren’t here. So ‘lostness’ is a condition of wishing otherwise; of being unwilling to be in the place you actually are. The idea of America is a lost nation road, and I know I’m a son of that.“
~ Stephen Jenkinson1
“[Lost] doesn’t mean you don’t know where you are, it means you wish you weren’t here.”
Now, hold on to that last part there for a bit.
Definition #2:
pur·pose
/ˈpərpəs/
noun: purpose; plural noun: purposes
the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.
"the purpose of the meeting is to appoint a trustee"
Similar: motive, motivation, grounds, cause, reason, justification, intention, aspiration, objective, aim, ambition, raison d'être, desire….
a person's sense of resolve or determination.
"there was a new sense of purpose in her step as she set off"
Similar: determination, resoluteness, resolve, steadfastness, drive, initiative, enterprise, motivation, single-mindedness, commitment, conviction, dedication
a particular requirement or consideration, typically one that is temporary or restricted in scope or extent.
"pensions are considered as earned income for tax purposes"
(Oxford Languages Dictionary, 2025)
Or, as Simon Sinek would ask: “What’s your WHY?”2
Okay, the technicalities are out of the way now, let’s get on with it then:
Getting On With It, then:
A couple of months ago, in the fall of 2024, my wife and I were on one of our walks when I spotted this bumper sticker on a car parked in one of the neighborhoods. Now, before you have a look, try to keep hold of what you immediately think of when you try to make sense of it:
I don’t know about you, but as I glanced at it when I walked on by, I laughed inside a bit at the whimsy of it. It’s a clever sticker. This person saying to the world, “hey, I’m not lost by accident. I’m lost because I want to be lost. I did it on purpose. Nothing to be embarrassed about. I wanted this! Now, where the hell am I? (Or perhaps the more apropos: “So leave me alone in my lostness. No help wanted. I got myself lost because I want to be lost.”)
Is that how you initially framed this bumper sticker? Lost on purpose?
But this is a very clever sticker, because as I kept walking, those three words stuck with me to the point where a whole new, and much more appropriate-for-these-times, meaning took hold of me. Which is where Stephen Jenkinson, Simon Sinek, a zen story, and this new administrative (terror) term by our convicted felon president converge. And now I can’t read this bumper sticker any other way—and I’m glad for that.
Zen Story
A Zen Master directed one of his students, before her final ordination to become a zen monk herself, to go to a remote, mountain hermitage (cabin) and spend one month in a solitary, silent retreat. Weeks went into the preparation; the student needed to take with her everything she would need for the entire month since she was not to leave the retreat once she began.
On her drive up the remote mountain, a place she had never been before, she turned off the main highway onto a road she thought led the way. This being before cell phone map apps or car GPS systems, she had only a faded map and the Master’s directions to get to the cabin. She started to worry as it became clear she was not heading in the right direction; a couple more curves and turns surfaced more internal dread and doom. Dusk started to envelop her in the midst of the alpine forested and graveled road.
Full panic began to settle in. The car headlights swallowed by the black of the darkness.
Finally, she found her way back to the main road. She drove on in darkness a few miles when she spotted a lonely gas station off the side of the road with one gas pump and the station lights still on. She pulled in as the lone attendant got up from his stool intending to pump gas for her.
“Wait, no…I don’t need gas,” she cried. “I’m LOST! I’m so lost! I’m soooo loooost I tell you!!!! I’m supposed to be somewhere else right now and I don’t know where I am. I’m LOOOST!!!! Can you help me? I’M LOST!” The panic in her voice now at an ample pitch as she was pulling at her hair.
The attendant listened intently to what she said when a look of calm took over his face and body. He relaxed, then smiled and looked gently at her.
“M’am, you ain’t lost. You is riiiiiiiight here.”
In a flash, the zen student got it; instantly, she relaxed. She thanked the man and drove back to her home in the city, laughing all the way, as she realized she no longer needed the retreat.
She understood the entirety of her Master’s teaching.
Convergence
Referring back to Stephen Jenkinson’s fine definition of lost, as a “condition of wishing otherwise,” THAT is exactly where I am now, in a place I wish not to be. I wish I weren’t here. I wish I were somewhere else, some time else. You see, I don’t live in the same place I once lived in even though I haven’t physically moved. This place has changed. Not because I wanted it to, but because a majority of those who voted apparently believed this place needed to change, all based upon a dramatic series of relentless lies. Ironically, they thought they were voting for a time back when this place was stellar; when everyone knew where they were and where everyone wanted to be; where people knew their place, stayed complacent in their place without making waves, when eggs were affordable (when I ate eggs that is), back to a time when this place was “great.” They were voting to go back to a place they were told to yearn for, for a place they were told they knew and could return to, again. But once gone, by definition, past places are gone forever. Those places never come back, so you cannot return to them. They didn’t know that. They were being sold a fiction, and they bought it. Well, someone bought it anyway—it took that guy about $250 million dollars worth of fiction, chump change for him (bought him a chump though).
Now, the greater irony of it all is that this place, being the experiment that it always was, based solely on an idea, was always in a state of change. And up until right now (which actually began back in 2016), those who we charged with leading this place at least understood what common decency, decorum, compassion, and integrity looked like. But we live in a different place now. And I think, personally, we’re all lost.
Because this new place, a place we’ve never been, is unrecognizable. No one has a map; cell phones don’t work as intended; and GPS sucks here.
“[Lost] doesn’t mean you don’t know where you are, it means you wish you weren’t here. So ‘lostness’ is a condition of wishing otherwise; of being unwilling to be in the place you actually are.”
That Very Clever Bumper Sticker: “Sir, you ain’t lost, you is riiiiiight here.”
or…
“Being willing to be in the place I actually am!”
That bumper sticker, with it’s second, hidden meaning, has given me a foundational way of insuring I keep my sanity amidst the surroundings, the comings and goings, the bad news and the very bad news, that is sure to surface in this new territory. Its second meaning is a grounding into THIS moment to insure I stay true to my own inner compass and never allow anyone else, at any time, to knock me off the track my inner compass is pointing toward. Compasses, you’ll remember, always point to True North.
Okay Science Nerds (and I count myself as one of you), pipe down will ya? I didn’t want to complicate things by introducing magnetic north and declination and the longitudinal/latitudinal locations of where your feet are when you are holding said compass. Just…go with me here. I’m making my metaphor simple. Yes, compasses really point to Magnetic North. But there are times when Magnetic North lines up with True North. Just imagine this is one of those times. Simple.
This is where “Purpose” comes in to bring a seemingly clever bumper sticker to its more philosophical, very clever, wisdom. You see, I can be lost, and I can panic like that zen student in the story. Needing to be honest with y’all, I’ve experienced more than a little disconcerting panic since November 5, and more since Monday of this week. And I know more is coming. So this second meaning hidden within the bumper sticker has given me a choice—a choice I’d always had, but being only human, I had forgotten. Sure, like Jenkinson says, I wish WE weren’t here, in this predicament voted upon us. I do think that means we are lost. But in remembering we are only really lost when we’ve lost sight of our True North, when we’ve lost our bearings, when we’ve lost our Purpose, being lost in this scenario means absolutely nothing about what is going on outside of ourselves (well, maybe a little). It has everything to do with what is happening inside ourselves. I’ve reflected in the past the whole of my spiritual practice is to Be Fully Here, Now—and to want to Be Here, Fully. Wishing otherwise causes the conditions of lostness—and we suffer there. In this time of right now, in this place newly redefined in ways our Founders stridently fought against, speaking only for me now, I have to remember I am only lost when I’ve strayed from my True North Purpose. I can’t be fully here when I’ve lost my WHY.
The second meaning of the bumper sticker then? “Okay, I may be lost, but I’m still ‘On Purpose.’ This ‘lostness’ is only temporary. My Purpose always leads to a brighter place. Because that’s what I chose as my WHY. My Purpose for Being. My True North.”
Importantly, when I remain “On Purpose,” I know I’m always willing to be in the place I actually am. Because that is where the good work is—that is where others need help. And I can help. In that space of place and mind and heart, for me, there is no suffering, no fear, no anxiety due to the lostness of it all. No. Because of the intentionality I put into the articulation of my WHY, my Purpose, in THAT space, there is only trust, and faith, and kindness, and compassion, and love. Will I deviate from this path at times? Absolutely—I’m human.
Did you know an airplane is off course most of the time during its flight path toward a destination? The pilots, or autopilot system, constantly updates its internal coordination to accommodate and adjust for the changes of wind direction and speed, turbulence, weather, and the physics of geometrical and political landmasses.
It’s inevitable I’ll be forced off course, but I’ll self-correct and do what is necessary to settle/ground into place with equanimity, while doing every thing I can, compassionately, to serve and help make this world the better place I know it has the capacity still to be.
As I am settling into this new place, and in looking around, I’m seeing other travelers, with the same deer-in-the-headlights look in their eyes, but who have found their way to here, to this space alongside me, because we share the same WHY. We have the same Purpose. It looks as if everyone is coming to understand the value of accepting and being willing to be exactly right here—because lord knows to wish otherwise sure does hurt. Having a clear Purpose nurtures the development of Resolve and Courage. Courage does not mean one isn’t scared; courage means acting anyway, even in the midst of fear, hatred, bigotry, and oppression.
When you are not alone, being lost isn’t as scary. When you are with kindred spirits who have the same inner True North compass, the journey forward, though we would have wished we never would have had to be on THIS particular path, now becomes its own purposeful journey. There is no destination; because had there been one to begin with, we never would have had to leave. It had been said we never were headed to a perfect place, just a “more perfect” one. A more perfect union. There was always more road to travel; more to do. And till now, the road really hadn’t detoured much. But now, we’re on a decidedly tangential path we didn’t wish for: it’s dark, the map is ill-defined, and where we wanted to be is nowhere on the horizon; for those who thought they wished for this, they, too, will soon experience a disconcerting ‘lostness’. It is inevitable—I know this because history has taught these same lessons. We’re just not great students. We are repeating history.
Fortunately, as I look around, I see a lot of friends surfacing; friends who want to be heading in the direction I want to head. With them, together, I know where I am now. I’m not lost.
Instead, I’m riiiiight here!
On Purpose…
…because to be unwilling to be in the place you actually are is sometimes a good thing. That’s how change happens—and how justice, kindness, compassion, and love ultimately prevail.
~ kbl
This week’s Bag of Mittens is
.Last year, my devotional practices centered on A Course in Miracles (more on this experience later). This year, I’ve returned to my study of The Tao Te Ching. The study of The Tao is a lifelong journey (The Tao can literally be translated as “The Way.”) And like any journey, having a wise guide who’s been there just ahead of you, even though each of our journey’s are unique, can add enrichment, encouragement, and indeed, wisdom—the wisdom, if you will, that reminds us of our Purpose should we ever find ourselves in a place we wished we weren’t. Diamond-Michael Scott is that person for me. Though somewhat of a renaissance man, Diamond-Michael characterizes himself best as a wandering and nomadic mystic who seeks to apply the ancient teachings and practices of both The Tao Te Ching and the I Ching into daily life. Every post he writes is instructive for me, especially since this year I’ve included the I Ching into my own practice life for the very first time. Here’s an example of his exquisite writing and reflections from one of his latest posts:
The quote I embedded from Stephen Jenkinson can be found at timestamp 19:49. It will be out of context so you might as well settle in and watch the entire thing. Jenkinson’s a great guide to get us out of our lostness.
If you don’t know who Simon Sinek is, where have you been…besides lost (see what I did there?). You don’t have to be a business person to find relevance in the creation of your WHY. This talk frames it well. It was THIS TEDTalk that initiated the process of developing the WHY’s of the last two schools I led. Each WHY was truly inspirational—as it should be. Otherwise, why have it? (See what I did there too?)
Kert, this is such a powerful piece. Thank you for introducing me to Stephen Jenkins. I appreciate learning about him and his work. The film short was also powerful and gorgeous.
As usual, much to think on, Kert. Very helpful and appreciated.